I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
