i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
bring money and cleavage
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
