Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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