My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
