ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
