bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
