life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
50% drunk capacity currently
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
