never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize