I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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