I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Terrible idea I love it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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