sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
