filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
