Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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