Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize