You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
