I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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