oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
