So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My ass is underappreciated
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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