wat bout pragnant strippers??
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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