My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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