i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Randomize
