At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
