found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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