I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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