she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
