im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
