also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
