don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
