the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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