It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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