just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
