He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
