I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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