Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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