1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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