And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
