Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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