He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
