Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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