By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
