Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize