You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
