I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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