I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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