Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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