Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
