I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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