I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize