Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
