I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
