i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
