i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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