i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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