Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
