There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
