why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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