ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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