but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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