Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
