do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ladies don't puke and tell
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
