Dual....:-)
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
