Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
