she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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