You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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