Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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