So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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