bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
