Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
