on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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