I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
