you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
