I cockslap morals
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
