He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She needs sedatives and a leash
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
